1. Man, Halle Berry really let herself go.
2. Everyone knows the noble dolphin is the most trustworthy member of the animal kingdom.
3. But it's obviously what the bible meant, though.
That argument holds up all the time!
4. Nothing inspires confidence like scare-quotes.
5. And the teacher wonders why I'm failing Biology.
6. What could possibly go wrong?
7. Seems legit.
8. "Hey wait a minute... why is all of this 'money' covered in pepperoni?"
10. Thank goodness they cleared that up.
11. Apparently the difference between being rich and being broke is exactly one sharpie.
12. Look! It even comes with batteries!
14. "Why did they write 'license' on a paper pl-- oooooh, I see what you did there!"
15. That's the ugliest cat I've ever seen...
16. I'd say we can take his word for it.
17. I'm on to you, undercover Quiznos guy!
18. Those are the biggest damn pistachios I've ever seen.
19. So rare, only one is known to exist in the whole world.
20. "Craigslist Post #1234567: (1) Baseball signed by Ruth, who's a total Babe."
21. "They always double-charge me for this..."
22. "It is also normal for healthy fish to not eat or move."
23. It's science, people!
24. "When in doubt, just change a letter."- NANI
25. Just so long as "UV" stands for "User Virginity."