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Struggles Of Girls With Big Thighs

APRIL 16, 2015  —  By Spencer Montgomery

1. Trash vs. class.

Want to wear a formfitting dress? Good luck. It doesn't seem to matter how you dress those legs up, it comes off just a little trashy, and don't even try to wear a long slit. Our philosophy? If you like it, own it and rock it!

2. Swing life away.

Headed to the park for a little bit of fun? Good luck fitting in the swings, pinching ahead.

3. Thigh gap.

We're over hearing about the thigh gap. It just isn't going to happen and we're okay with it!

4. One-time wear.

Pants can generally be recycled a few times before washing them. Of course, that is only if your thighs don't stretch them all to crap.

5. Whistle that tune.

You know that wonderful whistle when you walk and your jeans whistle at you? Yeah, I hate that. We get it, legs, you want attention, you want us to show you off, just stop please.

6. Awkward fit.

You've done the work to find pants that actually fit, now to make them look good. Pairing shirts with the right pants is too much work; who has time for that in the morning? Skinny jeans give you a fun house mirror shape and long shirts stretch into oblivion.

7. Pencil skirts.

Nope, not for you. It is not a good feeling having your thighs smooshed together, but subjecting them to that torture chamber is just inhumane.

8. Inner wear-and-tear.

When your legs rub together all day it creates friction. Friction is no fun. Your jeans get all torn up and you're left with an outright mess.

9. Sweat.

We know it's gross, but it's a fact. Between those luscious legs is an entire pool of sweat-filled fun. Can't we just take a minute to air it out?

10. Online shopping.

Forget ordering anything that belongs below the waist. Chances are it will not fit. The reality is a sad, sad world. So when it arrives, you're excited with glee, only to be disappointed.

11. Must contain stretch.

If you want to wear jeans, they best contain at least 10% spandex or those bad boys are not going on easy.

12. Two birds with one stone.

When your one leg is the size of both of your friend's. No one loves that, but hey, you have your assets, flaunt them!

13. Cellulite.

While you by no means need to have big thighs to have cellulite, the two do enjoy going hand-in-hand. Whatever life throws at you, you know you perfect!

14. Shorts.

Rideage all day long. Sitting, walking, riding a bike - all are a task and a half when it comes to big thighs and shorts, or any thighs and shorts.

15. Knee-high nos and woes.

Again with the pulling. Why can't stores and designers understand thighs come in all shapes and sizes? Everyone wants to be cute, and knee-high socks that are ill-fitting are not cute.

16. Pants.

Finding the right pants can be a nightmare. Nothing wants to slide over your golden thrones. Why can't life just be easy?

17. Run, slap, run.

That beautiful noise made by your thighs, almost like an applause for getting up and being active.

18. Sexualization.

or some reason people seem to think big thighs means they can objectify you. You can't, please move on.

19. The rash dash.

The rubbing of the legs all day is more than unpleasing to the eye, it's painful! After a warm day and a dress, you know you're in for a fun two weeks of red rash pain. Do your best to keep those legs apart and put an end to the chafing.